A WOMAN
But I find myself dreading those moments when I have to walk out the door
to go someplace to hug someone
the thought of someones arms around me and mine around them
and the drive there
and the awkward moment when I say congratulations
though. we're both there
And the worse moment when I step out of my car
to go some place hauntingly the same
where I stand in line to give him a hug
but without my fall back congratulations or excitement
I look him in the eyes. and I look. And I say, real quiet
hey.
and that's it.
Here I am.
an adult (mostly)
a woman
and I'm not feeling strong or powerful
because I'm trying to find the words
the right ones
the ones that say every thought I've had
and sum them up
so they mean something
to wrap them in a small parcel of significance and memorability.
but no.
I just say
hey.
Did I grow up to be terse?
no.
maybe that marker didn't mean all we thought it means
maybe I'm still a child
and like a child to whom you request
"use your words"
being able to speak
doesn't constitute having something to say.
