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Blue Orange Green Pink Purple

Selective Narcoleptic

The Mafia and Bobcats

Today work was...
annoying
and hilarious

Sales are down today.
Slow moments and I'm standing there near the counter
meticulously sweeping perma-dirt out of the old cracked wood floor
and Steven walks up

-- A Few Notes About Steven --
1. He mumbles something fierce
2. He always sounds like laughing, even when he's serious
3. He uses many profanities (not applicable to this story, only a little to the next)

and Steve walks up holding a bottle of ammonia
"isn't this what the mob uses?"
I stare at the bottle in his hand wondering what he could possibly mean
then I think I figure out what he could have possibly meant
and I mutter something about chloroform on rags
and he stares at me
and I stare at him
and we stare at each other
Then I understand
and start to laugh
bubbling from my mouth comes
"no we put vinegar in the mop"
laughing still
"that was weird" he mumbles
and walks away

I'm still laughing

----------

Later comes over the intercom
Hey Sharon (a boss of mine)
there's a cat in the dumpster
and Sharon just about flips a lid
She says enthusiastically over the com
"Capture it and we'll keep it in the break room tonight!"
She justifies this by saying that the last cat she found in the dumpster
she accidentally killed with the high/low

So Steven walks past a few minutes later
"that cat is meaner than shit"
I mean to ask how mean shit actually is
but decide to hold my tongue
Because Jeremy is coming over the com

We hear this yowling and he shouts
"It sounds like a Bobcat!"
and some more rustling

Needless to say,
the cat did not spend the night in the break room

----------

Now for the part that wasn't as entertaining.
It's 8:04 and we're closed
but there is one customer left in the store
which is common,
they enter before we close and need a few things

In this case the person needed some help with screen
but she's already been helped
She knows we're closed
some lights are even off
all of the employees are waiting around
All of the grills are inside
and she decides to meander
for ten more minutes

Then she gets to me at the counter
finds out that half of the random items she picked up aren't on sale
and decides not to buy them
and leaves

Who does that?
Read More 1 Comment | Posted by Libby H edit post

1 Comment

  1. Anonymous on July 30, 2010 at 11:18 PM

    mob/mop confusion= funny.
    i like the chloroform. glad that explanation came to mind...

     


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Selective Narcoleptic

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    Libby H
    I have the ability to see the broad and the narrow. I know all the lyrics to songs my parents knew and those of songs no one but I will ever hear but I can't tell you what's on the radio. I can remember the expressions on my friends faces but I'm suprised to find myself at the bottom of a set of stairs. I am a transparent eyeball. But with cataracts.
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